April 2011
i need help
i am a thin man being eaten by
green trees
butterflies and
you.
everything good, you fuck up.
oh whats up miniature panic attacks
things to do, i’ve got them in my room.
let’s flip this switch until it lands on what i want.
i’m on your side.
no no no no no
i lean to you, numb as a fossil. tell me i’m here.
so sad. sad sad sad sad.
my bones hurt. i’m sad too.
you can look at one thing and see it so many different ways.
they’re saying it much better than we ever could.
i’m staring directly at you, seeing all the things wrong with you, all the things wrong with this.
I still love you.
you’re loving someone who’s not worth loving, with your wasted mind and your broken heart.
with dark hair and gummy features, with strong eyebrows and weak confidence.
with the lights on, no not with the lights on.
you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
mini cacti, green tea, museums, love.
i don’t really think i know what love is.
don’t waste your time trying to be happy, you must endure the waves of sadness to feel smiles.
go jump on beds, go live the life you’ve never lived.
don’t touch me, don’t touch me up. do the tease by the numbers.
i like summer nights. i like car rides. i like mix cds. i like talking on the phone for hours. i like when people have distinct scents. i like waking up at just the right times. i like reading my favorite poems over and over again. i like beginnings. i like to feel sadness so i can feel happiness. i like to be around love.
turn off the radio and plug in the brick.
